Reflections on Adam and coaching soccer:

Coaching soccer or any sport demands a lot of the man/boy....and....gives a lot to the coach. Approximately 500 young men (and there were about 3-5 young ladies before the advent of girls soccer) give their all physically...mentally...emotionally...and yes ...spiritually...... approximately five school days a week for roughly 60+ days in all kinds of weather.

The coach asks for commitment from the team and gives commitment...as a coach. Coaching...playing..is a joyful task....a fun endeavor....a try time....a meaningful meeting of the mind. When I volunteered in the fall of '84 to initially coach soccer for spring '85, I had a general idea...but not a real experience...what I was getting into. I had coached rec football...t-ball...basketball...and soccer and had done well, but this was real school soccer....Steve Lonker, my principal, had faith in me...!!!

Coaching gave my teaching an added interest and command, and I loved it. I felt that my knowing the kids so well built my soul....made me feel good about myself. My wife and two boys sacrificed for me, and for that I owe her dearly. She never cried or complained; she cared for the coach and our kids and for the boys on the team.

Two more things: Adam's life and death have made an impact on this coach that I'll never forget. He was an example of living and his death was a way of living so hard.

Second and last thing: When I called my team together in the auditorium for a final word that fall in '04...I hurt....yes, I cried....and I wrote. I hurt and cried because all these players were a part of my life and I knew I would miss them. I wrote each family a typed letter ( my handwriting was.....is terrible) explaining to them that I was not leaving them because I wanted to..................I physically had to......and I wanted them to know I was not quitting.........and I wanted/hoped their player...boy...child......would....not quit. either.................

Any reader of this blog may certainly gain at least one insight from this former soccer coach...that being (as I have stated before)...the many fine young men under my coaching. Trying to narrow the finest young men I have had the privilege to coach soccer under would be an enormous undertaking. There is one soccer player I only had in the seventh grade, who is now assisting the varsity coach, and is a good friend of my younger son who also coached PH now for the past 6 years. As I explain one specific incident involving Brad, you decide what you may about fine young men.

A couple of days before Adam died suddenly, Brad and I had agreed that he would take or help out in the specific practice that fateful Friday practice....not knowing the fate of Adam to be. After the ambulance had left the school ground with Adam for the hospital, I had announced or sent word we would practice for the last game that would be played next Tuesday. Little did I know the shock and the confusion to be as I had to meet the sweet, well-meaning middle school guidance counselor who appeared to be overly anxious to tell the parents that we were having no practice..or that she would get back with them.

Almost immediately before I could begin....Brad showed up and immediately offered to take the team and practice (in some fashion) and allow me freedom to address the counselor who appeared about three times....and a father or two who dropped by while I talked with passersby.

Brad was mentioned in two previous blogs....is now assisting the varsity coach....friend to my PH coach son....and brother to Chris (his brother and my son's name). As probably mentioned before, Brad was/is a gregarious....sincere...likable....outstanding soccer player who starred for me one short season.....varsity...Carson-Newman College....and finally Va. Tech.

So that Friday...Brad stepped up and brazenly/NO...thoughtfully... offered to lead my confused team in practice as I stood in some shock maybe...conferred with the counselor...various teachers... and some parents....an absolute blessing that particular afternoon to this coach. As it turned out, the counselor came again by sometime after four and said she told the parents finally to come. That fateful afternoon was saved by Brad....smiling ...sincere...thoughtful...discreet...helpful...the right person at the right time....!!

The '04 team (my last) was co-captained by Chris Barnett and T.J. Frazier. As most of my 20 teams' captains, they were consistent and faithful and took leadership seriously. Both players were mature in leadership and well-liked by the team; they gained respect by their peers and teachers as well. This coach could think of nothing negative to be said of either leader (captain), and I followed their progress through varsity...as I did for most of my former players.

Chris played a strong and skilled center half, and T.J. excelled as keeper ...making several notable saves!
After their senior year, Chris graduated to Bridgewater and T.J. graduated to Emory and Henry...and have done well. The strength of character these fine young men exhibited came through in the fateful last two games specifically when Adam Wickham died while running P.E. laps two school days before their last game. This coach had pressure and decisions to overcome in the immediate light of Adam's death, and these two captains were supportive, calm, and quiet leaders.

I later learned from a close "associate" that Adam's death has had a specific impact on one of these two outstanding leaders. While in first year college, one captain wrote a very well-written paper on the lesson he learned from Adam's death ...or ...the force of Adam's death and the importance it has had on this captain's life. Unfortunately....this coach has never seen the paper, but coincidentally I wrote Adam's parents immediately after his death and I, too, expressed to them how positive and good Adam's life had been and how blessed I was to know Adam.

Chris and T.J. were the last two captains of my last soccer team, and I hope they realize how much I appreciate them ..........and ...coincidentally (having come to know their parents who were very understanding).........having come to appreciate them also.

Greg Moses was mentioned as a former outstanding player on the 13 and 1 team of 2000. This coach had referred to former players who in different ways were spiritually ministering to different peoples in different places. I refer to Greg again ....this time....because of his continued effort as he engages the youth of South Africa as they prepare for the World Cup in June and July of 2010.

Greg went over to South Africa in 2008, I believe, and is in his second year helping to organize....witness to....and encourage the youth for Christ. Greg has shown great development in his work in South Africa in planning for the World Cup and witnessing to the thousands of youth there.

Greg met his fiance overseas...and I think plans are still pending. He sends a newsletter once or twice a year, and after some initial misunderstandings within the program...things seem to be going smoothly and well.

Greg's skills and talents on the soccer field were a positive attitude...speed...excellent dribbling skills and great effort; these efforts and attitude serve him well in South Africa..!! Coach will keep the reader updated when he receives news on Greg....witnessing...and the World Cup.

Kyle O'Connor has been mentioned in a previous blog...and rightfully so. Kyle made his mark as middle school soccer leader when he started and played outside defender to replace Adam Wickham at the last two practice days of the'04 season. Adam, the heroic deceased eighth grader, was replaced by Kyle, a seventh grader, in the Andrew Lewis game which assured Byrd Middle at least a tie for first place as we handily won the last '04 seasonal game.

What was more important was that Kyle's performance was like Adam's in that Kyle played the entire game and did it well with only two days of complete practice. Kyle was a young, quiet, unassuming, but very alert defender who fought well and held his own. This coach noticed how well Kyle did during the game and made everyone available realize Kyle's impact in that game.

Even more importantly, Kyle (if my memory is correct) stayed with high school soccer ending up as a starter and running well in track/cross country. Kyle has been faithful by keeping in email contact with this coach and being a trusty soccer player who also in school played the role of rec soccer official.

Adam Wickham was a quiet, intelligent, well-liked, and hard-working young outside defender. He played as a substitute as a seventh grader and worked into a starter on defense as an eighth grader. When we ran running laps or drills, invariably he came in last, but did his best and always with a faint smile. He was not the most athletic-looking or fastest defender, but his skill and work ethic were all a coach could ask.

In our next-to-last game played at home, we had to win the two last games to tie for first, and Adam did a superb job as defender...playing the entire game...and helping his team in the victory !! The next day, Friday, at the end of the school day, after Adam had run P.E. times for the mile, I was called to the field because a player told me hurriedly that Adam "was down." Adam was taken to the hospital where he was declared DOA.

In a brief summary.....the entire team served as unofficial pall bearers and planned to make our last game, that we needed to win in order to tie for first, dedicated to Adam. Signs were posted; a large, encouraging crowd showed at the last game; announcements were given pre-game, and Adams' family was recognized where we won handily to gain first place as we dedicated this game in his honor and memory.

Adam's family was gracious in these moments ....and brave. They were hurting, but strong; I typed a personal letter to the Wickham family to boast their spirit...to help them realize how special and well-liked Adam was...to ensure them how Adam's life was not in vain...to emphasize the character of Adam Wickham...to remember special moments I shared with him on the field and in the hallways. His number 15 was memorialized and a special award was announced by me in his name first starting at the awards banquet. This season ('04) turned out to be my last coaching season (which will be shared in another blog) and unfortunately my successors never stayed with this honor. Three or four more blogs with different aspects of this day will be available...coming.

Andy McCaskill was an outstanding forward with great speed playing seventh and eighth grade for my last years of junior high and automatic starter in ninth grade for the varsity. If memory holds strong, he at least earned District Player of the year, if not State Player based upon his speed and hustle and scoring.

Andy was representative of the many fine young skilled, hustling, and savvy soccer players that played for me and developed even further for varsity. Andy never gave this coach any concern or trouble and was quiet and thoughtful on and off the field. This coach had mentioned him previously in a blog along with eight to ten former players who have succeeded in some aspect of ministry. An update on Andy was sent to me by Aaron Dowdy who is also involved in missions and corresponds with Andy; Aaron followed Andy in varsity play by maybe two years.

The latest news on McCaskill is that he and wife Susan are on the mission again in Thailand....now with two boys...Josiah and Elijah and sister Moriah. They are doing well after fighting the strong flu scare a few months ago, and Susan helps with girls' soccer; knowing how well Andy had played soccer, I would assume he might be involved in some sort of soccer level also. This blog will update the readers as news comes in on the progress of the McCaskills